3 Tips to Help Your Child Learn to Share

Are you finding it hard to teach your little one how to share?

You are not alone. As any parent of a toddler can tell you, teaching a young child to share is challenging — young children are naturally focused on their own needs and feelings. 

Don’t be embarrassed if your child throws a fit and insists that he doesn’t want to share his doll with his cousin. Not wanting to share is normal

Lynn Louise Wonders, MA, LPC, RPT-S, an early childhood development and parenting expert, provided the following tips so you can help your child build experience in this area:

Be an example

Model “sharing behavior.” In other words, demonstrate for your child what you want to see her learn and practice. 

An example: You might take a cookie and show it to the child and say, “This is my cookie. Would you like me to share my cookie with you? I can share this cookie with you by breaking it and giving you some. Look, here is some cookie for you, and here is some cookie for me! We are sharing!”

Narrate what you see and think aloud

This is called “tracking and reflecting,” which helps your child develop awareness and vocabulary for what she is experiencing.

An example: Your child and her friend both want to play with a baby doll. You might say, “Oh! I can see you both are starting to feel frustrated because there is only one baby doll and there are two of you. I wonder if there is a way you might share playing with the baby doll?”

Change the focus

Sometimes young children need a little help from adults to find a solution to the sharing dilemma. Let’s say that narrating what you see and think aloud didn’t resolve the growing tension in the above scenario. Try shifting the child’s focus.

An example: “I know what we can do! Sammie can take care of the baby doll while Tisha gets the baby’s breakfast made, and then Tisha can take care of the baby while Sammie packs the baby’s diaper bag!”

Of course, learning how to share can be difficult. (Some of us adults are still learning!) While it can challenging, consider these moments as opportunities to show your child that they can be problem solvers and learn new life skills.

For more tips on character development, check out these resources:

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